What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
