so that wasnt chicken after all
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
