I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
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I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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