I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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