im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
