there's paper in my vomit.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
