That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
