...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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