Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

***** fucked a guy with one hand last night

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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(614): View more from Ohio

she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny

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(757): View more from Virginia

apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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(585): View more from New York

My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?

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(786): View more from Florida

He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him

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