**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
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I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
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I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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