Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Where did you get a picture of my penis

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(610): Where did you get a picture of my penis http://tfl.nu/yfi8

Replies (11) Good night (1324) Bad night (734)
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(607): View more from New York

i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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(607): i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life? http://tfl.nu/2cyx

Replies (27) Good night (1048) Bad night (5210)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.

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(757): I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/hl6i

Replies (14) Good night (4938) Bad night (869)
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(716): View more from New York

Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

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(716): Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed? http://tfl.nu/24fj

Replies (28) Good night (6623) Bad night (1515)
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(281): View more from Texas

my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family

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(281): my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family http://tfl.nu/olwi

Replies (7) Good night (3455) Bad night (1185)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.

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(612): she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device. http://tfl.nu/3o4n

Replies (14) Good night (2195) Bad night (812)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories

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(706): Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories http://tfl.nu/hpss

Replies (5) Good night (2057) Bad night (824)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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(443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0

Replies (5) Good night (1487) Bad night (575)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.

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(505): I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/rp6m

Replies (5) Good night (1170) Bad night (404)
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(310): View more from California

All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.

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(310): All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta. http://tfl.nu/aprf

Replies (2) Good night (1554) Bad night (438)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.

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(202): Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want. http://tfl.nu/8zxe

Replies (11) Good night (1788) Bad night (510)
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(469): View more from Texas

I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.

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(469): I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins. http://tfl.nu/edtw

Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (550)
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(407): View more from Florida

For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.

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(407): For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk. http://tfl.nu/qbsc

Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (867)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework

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(412): I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework http://tfl.nu/y1ir

Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (323)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.

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(920): This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low. http://tfl.nu/h0px

Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (286)

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