a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I understand Curling. That high.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.