Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.