is your mom at the bar?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense