This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
