It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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