What a fucking waste of an outfit
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
