no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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