and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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