why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
