So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
