You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
