Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
