the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
