I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
