You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize