Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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