I hate your face
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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