Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
