The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
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My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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