If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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