are you still at the devil's house?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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