This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
