so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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