But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
