hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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