do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
how does that bad decision feel?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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