No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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