Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
