no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
