absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
