There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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