i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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