yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
