I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
