he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize