I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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