btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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