He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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