You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
