Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
