Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm at about main and main street
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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