i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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