I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
