I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
