Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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