I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
soo... how was my night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I forget how to act sober
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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