yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
