He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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