During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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