but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
